I have been working on learning to detach, to see his behavior as the immature silliness that it is. When he is unable to upset me, he is deprived of the payoff of feeling powerful. Patricia Evans suggested his name calling is at the emotional level of a three year old calling someone a 'pooh pooh head'.
So I look for ways to see the absurdity and not let it get to me. I have created Verbal Abuse Bingo cards. I am thinking of putting a couple of them in the kitchen, and inviting him to play too. When I hear that type of abuse, I would go get my card and cheerfully mark out that spot with a flourish.
When I get 5 in a row - I'll gleefully yell out "Verbal Abuse Bingo!"
It might put some fun in dysfunctional and maybe keep him mindful.
He is so contrary he may stop the abuse just to block me from getting Bingo. 
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1 comment:
Love it! Verbal abuse bingo!!!! I think that is an excellent way for the abuser to have to come face to face with how often they abuse. I've been reading your blog tonight. My relationship has improved tremendously...... Thankgoodness! After reading books and putting practices in place like detachment etc... I am happier and he has started paying attention to his abusive ways. I loved this post, because it reminded me of once when i had a notebook and every time my husband said something abusive i wrote it down. One day I had "had enough"! I tore out all the pages and taped everyone to the inside of his truck! All over the windshield, seats, console, EVERYWHERE! Then i left for work. I know he read everyone.... because since that day, things have gotten better. So glad things are improving on your end too! Your not alone!
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