Friday, September 14, 2007

I hate my husband.

I know I'm not alone. I don't know if any other women hate my husband, but I'm pretty sure there are other women who hate their husbands. We just don't say so do we. But we think it, and we feel it.

I hate him for treating me so disrespectfully. I hate him for calling me "bitch", "cunt". Those words cut deep and a woman can never feel the same way about a man after he calls her that.

I hate him for forgetting I am a woman and treating me like his servant.

I hate him for rarely sleeping in the same bed with me.

I hate him for rarely taking a vacation with me.

I hate him for rarely taking me out on a date.

I hate him for rarely bringing me flowers.

I hate his cluelessness.

I hate him for making sexual comments about other women.

I hate him for looking at porn.

I hate him for only making love to me once a month since we got married.

I hate him for being so cheap with me even though he has lots of money.

He is so fucking lazy. He is the laziest man I have ever seen. I had no idea. His schedule:

noon: wake up
-1:30 lay in bed
-3:00 get up and eat breakfast.
-4:30 get the mail and read catalogs and offers for miracle cures.
-6:30 go on internet
-8:00 make dinner and eat
-11:00 play the guitar
-3:00 back on the internet

except on rare occasions, schedule does not include housework, or even moving his own shit off the dining table or anywhere else.

Okay. I admit it, I sound like a bitch. But which came first? The way he treated me came first. I was not like this before.

Why doesn't she just leave you ask? I am. I am leaving. There's a world out there.There is life out there. I want to live again.


Anonymous said...

I know what you are feeling, my husband is a ticking time bomb, one day he is fine and if I say something he doesnt like or call him on something, Im a fucking bitch, or sometimes an "ungreatful bitch" and its true you never feel the same way about them, I wasnt sure about that but you said it like it is. Disrespect, once its gone , its gone!

jennie said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through that anon. Once those things happen, it takes a lot of caring for a long time to repair.

I hope you are learning about emotional/verbal abuse and getting support for yourself.

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