Did I mention my drinking problem?

I was never much of a drinker - until I married him. Then the pain along with being trapped in the same house, unable to get away, being forced to see him, I started drinking to cope with the pain.

Only at night, but now, every night. Before bed I drink. 2, 3, shots of something. If something really painful has happened, more, much more. Occasionally so that I have a slight hangover in the morning.

Once I am gone, I suspect I will stop drinking like this and return to my 2 drinks on a weekend night out with friends pre-marital level.

I hate being married to him. I really truly hate it. I wish I could turn back the clock and say no. I wish that the times I left him before we were married that I had stayed gone.

I had too much hope, too much faith in his ability to change.

Now if only I had that kind of hope and faith in myself. At one time I did.

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